If you're over fifty there is a good chance that you have had more than one serious relationship in your life. You've had your heart broken a number of times. You ask the question, "Why did I let this happen again?" Baylor Barbee, author of Breaking Your Own heart, claims it's us who are breaking our own hearts. We let it happen by repeating familiar cycles.
Does this sound crazy? Rita Mae, in her book Sudden Death, says, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results."
Baylor Barbee works with a gentleman named Trent Shelton at rehabtime.org. Watch the short video below as he discusses five ways to break your own heart.
The first one he speaks of is returning to a bad situation you've left and going back for more. I think we get trapped into thinking that people can change, and maybe if we try harder, they actually will. Like the old saying a leopard can't change its spots; but people aren't leopards. The fact of the matter is, hoping and praying is not going to bring about change in someone else. They have to want to change. It's going to take time. It's quite possible that you need to distance yourself from the situation, before change is ever initiated.
A lot of this comes down to trust. Trent asks if you would let a thief into your house. Of course you wouldn't. The thief can't be trusted. Trust isn't something that is given. Trust is something that needs to be earned. This doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes, it can take years.
He also speaks about expecting change. He uses an example of going to McDonalds and expecting Taco Bell. It isn't going to happen. And, it's for reasons like this that you are breaking your own heart.
You already know a lot of this in your mind and I expect you've heard it all before. But your heart is telling you something different. If change is needed, you can't count on your partner. The only person you can count on is yourself. This is where change needs to start.
Breaking Your Own heart is being offered for free today as a promotion on Amazon. If you have found yourself stuck in a rut, you might want to download it and learn what can be done about it. I realize some of the readers to this blog, who may be 50 and alone, aren't happy about it. You either need to move forward and get to a place where positive changes in yourself have made you ready to love again, or choose to be happy and single.
If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.
You’re welcome to comment below.
While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.
Powered by Facebook Comments