How to overcome jealously

jealous-featuredJealously is a human emotion that we all share to some degree. If you're over fifty and new to being single again, some of you will no doubt feel it a little stronger than those of us who have been single for a few years. Especially if your partner has replaced you or traded you in for a newer model. It's normal to feel this way, but you have to be careful that it doesn't manifest itself into more destructive emotions such as  anger and grief. A combination of jealously mixed with feelings of betrayal can make you want to lash out. Revenge and hate can replace jealously altogether, and these negative thoughts can prevent you from moving on in your life.

It's even worse if you decide to act on these feelings. Innocent people can get hurt in the cross-fire. There are many news stories that attest to this. Like the military man in Moscow who thought his common-law wife was having an affair. So he threw her two eight-year-old (twin sisters) out of the window of his apartment. They lived on the eighth floor.

Joan Didion, an American writer, says "To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self."

Catherine Revell says in her book, Jealously Survival Guide:

"Did you know that some things don’t need fixing to get fixed?   Just letting go can fix most things. If you quit meddling with things, they can fix themselves. It’s a principle of self-correction. Time can heal things all by itself if you’ll just get out of the way."

That's exactly how I feel about it as well. You just have to let it go. I know it sounds like it's one of those things that are easier said than done, but it is possible. By using positive affirmations you can actually encourage and train yourself to let these feelings go. At the same time, good dieting choices to help manage stress, and exercise will help the healing process along. According to Steve Tromans it is called re-conditioning your thinking. He uses a process that involves neuro-linguistics and hypnotherapy as you can see from this short clip below.

This may be a bit of an extreme method, and certainly very expensive way of getting control of your jealously.  I would see a professional if it was a last resort, but Catherine Revell's book, Jealously Survival Guide, may be all you need. Here is what it can do for you:

  • It will get you on the right path before you wind up in the ditch or, worse yet, in jail.
  • It will help you accept yourself even when you feel jealous and stop beating yourself up.
  • You’ll learn how to get what you want or need and you don’t have to change somebody else to do it.
  • It’s a place to come to for attitude adjustments, comfort, understanding and hopefully, a change of perspective because miracles happen when you change your perspective.

It's important too, to have very frank conversations with yourself without lying.  Sometimes jealously can be fueled by personality traits, such as the need for power and the ability to control your partner. These are issues that you may need professional help with, which goes beyond the scope of  the book.

It's being offered for free today as part of an Amazon promotion. However, if you miss it today, you can pick up a copy for $5.94. Download it now, while you can. Sill, much cheaper than neuro-linguistics and hypnotherapy. Plus, you don't have someone else messing with your brain...

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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Mankind’s Greatest Quotes

pq-featuredDo you think quotes can influence daily decisions? Can they offer us guidance? Do people just read them and forget them, or do you have certain ones you have framed on your wall? Written on post-it notes and stuck to the fridge or the bathroom mirror? I think we all have favorites. One of mine is "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve". This was written by Napoleon Hill.

Even George Carlin, who is best noted for some really crude comedy, had several memorable quotes. One of my favorites was "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff."

Patty and Jonathan Crowe have published a book titled Mankind's Greatest Quotes. I'm not sure how they determined these quotes are the greatest, but they certainly are inspirational. They say:

Throughout the ages, man has been engaged upon a quest for knowledge. Generation upon generation of man have endeavored to discover the truths which make man honorable and life worth living. In that same tradition of humanity, the greatest of these philosophers have sought as well to pass along what wisdom they have discovered that others may live a happier life and that mankind's chances for survival be enhanced. This book contains 2500 years of man's greatest wisdom, passed on in that same tradition of humanity that others may share in that wisdom.

If you're new to be fifty plus and alone, you might find it beneficial to have a book handy with some positive motivational quotes that you can refer to on occasion. This book is being offered for free today as part of an Amazon promotion, so I would urge you to click here and download it now while you can. After this promotion the regular cost of the book will be back up to $11.95.

With all the negative things happening, with the GMO Protection Act, and corruption running rampant in the government -- it bring to mind another favorite George Carlin quote: "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

Sometimes it certainly seems this way, but Mankind's Greatest Quotes seems to contain a lot of wisdom... so words can also be used to reveal the truth.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

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While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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No fracking wastewater in the Bay of Fundy

I attended two meetings  in Debert, Nova Scotia, on May 5th and 6th, 2013,  for the discussion and appeals of the fracking waste-water they want to dump through the treatment plant in Debert, Nova Scotia The waste-water would contain naturally occurring radioactive materials, carcinogens, other toxins and elevated levels of Chloride. But the representative from the Public Works department suggested the elevated levels chloride were not a threat because it really isn't a toxin.

But we already know the water temperature in the Atlantic and the Bay are increasing. The combination of the warmer water mixed with the extra chloride will encourage more algae blooms. These algae blooms release toxins that shellfish process and store. They filter the water,their bodies store the toxins and when it gets to unacceptable levels, they issue a red-tide alert and temporarily close the flats. Eating these clams could make a person sick, and in some cases I've heard it can be fatal.

 As Robert Lattie said during his appeal,"Releasing the frack wastewaters threatens the longevity of all commerce from this natural source. Sadly, it also threatens lifestyles, lifestyles that depend on nature more than commerce."

I feel that our shellfish industry will be the first casualty from the waste-water discharge. It should be noted that the increase in algae blooms will also reduce the amount of oxygen in the water. What affect will this have on the fish?

The Atlantic Industrial Services (AIS) claim they will continually monitor the discharge down-stream for unacceptable levels of contaminates. But I'm not convinced that the naturally occurring radioactive materials (NORMS), carcinogens,and other toxins are all going to be swept out with the tide. What if a percentage is left behind and takes root in the flats, and the marine life? While the discharge contamination is being carefully monitored, what about the effects of long-term exposure to these toxic chemicals on our marine life? Will we ever be able to go dulsing again?

The National Resources Defence Council (NRDC) is the United States most effective environmental action group, combining the grassroots power of 1.3 million members and online activists with the courtroom clout and expertise of more than 350 lawyers, scientists and other professionals. They have published a report titled "In Fracking’s Wake: New Rules are Needed to Protect Our Health and Environment from Contaminated Wastewater". It's over 100 pages long, and you needn't read it all. Here is the executive summary, from page three:

 This paper analyzes the problem of wastewater generated from the hydraulic fracturing process of producing natural gas, particularly with regard to production in the Marcellus Shale.

It shows that, while hydraulic fracturing (often called “hydrofracking” or “fracking”) generates massive amounts of polluted wastewater that threaten the health of our drinking water supplies, rivers, streams, and ground water, federal and state regulations have not kept up with the dramatic growth in the practice and must be significantly strengthened to reduce the risks of fracking throughout the Marcellus region and elsewhere.

Hydrofracking and the production of natural gas from fracked wells yield by- products that must be managed carefully to avoid significant harms to human health and the environment. These wastewater by-products are known as “flowback” (fracturing fluid injected into a gas well that returns to the surface when drilling pressure is released) and “produced water” (all wastewater emerging from the well after production begins, much of which is salty water contained within the shale formation).

Both types of wastewater contain potentially harmful pollutants, including salts, organic hydrocarbons (sometimes referred to simply as oil and grease), inorganic and organic additives, and naturally occurring radioactive material (NORM). These pollutants can be dangerous if they are released into the environment or if people are exposed to them. They can be toxic to humans and aquatic life, radioactive, or corrosive. They can damage ecosystem health by depleting oxygen or causing algal blooms, or they can interact with disinfectants at drinking water plants to form cancer-causing chemicals.

The full report in pdf format can be downloaded here:http://www.nrdc.org/energy/files/Fracking-Wastewater-FullReport.pdf

As you can read on the CBC website, we were able to persuade the committee to reject the proposal  from AIS that was previously approved.  There were other concerns too beside the  contaminants we know of. There is almost 4% of the treated solution that the oil and gas companies refuse to divulge the chemicals that make up the composition. Therefore, it can't be good...

Ordinary citizens can make a difference.  We'll be able to continue to dig clams from the bay by the cottage, ands o will our children.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.

 

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Superfoods for Enhanced Libido

want-it-featuredLook, you're over fifty -- it's time someone had "the" sex talk with you...

Some foods that can increase your libido include: celery, raw oysters, bananas, avocado, nuts, mangoes, peaches, strawberries, eggs, liver, figs, garlic, pumpkin and chocolate. And, in Karen Groves new book, she claims you can eat your way to great sex. It covers a natural solution to problems associated with your libido.

Just because you've taken the pledge to be 50+ and alone, it doesn't mean that for the next fifty years you need to practice abstinence in your sex life. Still, many people at this age find they don't have the same desire as they did when they were younger. A lot of reasons could be at the root cause. Even stress can cause it. If you want to keep active, you might want to have a look at her new book. It's called, Eat Your Way to Great Sex -- Enjoy Superfoods for Enhanced Libido: Desire, Fertility, Energy, Erectile Function and Great Orgasms.

Karen says:

"Because statistics worldwide show that more and more people are starting to experience problems with sex drive and sexual performance. Some of these statistics are reviewed in the Foreword to this book. There are a number of factors that may be causing these problems with libido, and what you eat is one of them. The declining quality of our food supplies is very concerning, and so the Introduction takes a brief look at our food supplies and points out the importance of consuming organic natural food for libido and health, versus the mass-produced food."

It's understood that some people may have medical problems or psychological problems that affect their libido. In fact, even some medications can decrease your natural drive. You should always consult with medical professionals before you try and diagnose the problem yourself. Eating the wrong food can be the culprit too. Here is a list of foods that will kill your sex drive:

  • Brands of Kellogg cereals
  • Gin and tonics
  • Saltpeter
  • Soy
  • Mints
  • Cilantro
  • Graham crackers
  • Okra
  • Too much Licorice
  • Tuna noodle casserole
  • Granola

If you need more information why these create problems you can find it here. But again, the reason why you may have a decreased libido doesn't necessarily have to do with food. Just being out of shape or leading an un-healthy lifestyle can be the deciding factor.

You will see one of the foods mentioned in Eat Your Way to Great Sex is celery.  Alan Hirsch, M.D., author of Scentsational Sex says:

"When you chew a stalk of celery, you release androstenone and androstenol odor molecules into your mouth. They then travel up the back of your throat to your nose.  Once there, the pheromones boost your arousal, turning you on and causing your body to send off scents and signals that make you more desirable to women."

Now, doesn't that just make you want to whip it out? Um... the celery, I mean....

In Eat Your Way to Great Sex, after a brief chapter on ‘What is Libido?’ individual chapters are devoted to:

• Superfoods for Stimulating Desire
• Superfoods for Boosting Energy
• Superfoods for Boosting Fertility
• Superfoods for Good Erectile Function
• Superfoods for Great Orgasms

Each of these chapters starts with a list of foods you should avoid; mood-killing foods, foods that don’t energize, foods that can cause low fertility and problems in pregnancy, foods that can cause problems with erectile function, and foods that can cause orgasms to fizzle and fail.

Superfoods that you should include in your diet for great sex are then described in these chapters.

Tanya, who provided a review of the book says:

"This is a great book if you want to know all the right foods to, and not to, eat in order to perk up your sexual desires! As a women in the stage of perimenopause, reading this book was of great help to me since my libido has taken a sever nose dive. I have taken much of the advice outlined in the book and found that it really helped! This is a total kindle keeper!"

The book usually sells for $4.88, but because it's featured as an Amazon promotion for today, you can get it free. Click here to get your copy now, and learn how to rejuvenate your sex drive.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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Backbone Power The Science of Saying No

grow-one-featuredHave you ever said 'yes', when you wanted to say 'no'? You're not alone. A lot of people do this, and often the situation is different every time. For example: It's a hot afternoon and your skinny best friend implores you to go to the ice-cream bar, because she doesn't have anyone else to go with right then, and you're struggling with your weight. You try to say no, but you end up saying yes. Of course this is only one example...

Are we pre-programmed to say yes? Dr. Anne Brown believes we are. She says, that from the time we are very little:  "Initially, that world consists of our immediate family, and as children, we do our damnedest to make sense of it. We observe, listen, adapt, and then accommodate."

Of course we aren't children any longer. We have the option of saying no. We just need to "grow a backbone".

One time when I was looking for a car to buy, I was at a dealership and was convinced by two sale people to take a particular car out for a test drive. I did, and then when I returned to the lot they tried to convince me to buy it. Many of you will know just how convincing some of these guys can be, but I was double-teamed on this one. I had to be quite stern with them. I said, "I'm not interested in this car. I don't like it. I don't like the way it feels on the highway, I don't like the color, I don't like the interior, and I don't like the look of it". About this time, they realized they would not be selling me this car. But they would have sent me home with it if they could have.

Let's look at some of the common things many people say yes to, and then later regret it.

  • Yes to sex with the ex
  • Yes to paying for things we can’t afford
  • Yes to things we know feel good at the time and cost us our self-esteem later
  • Yes to numbing ourselves with food, alcohol, and drugs
  • Yes to sex to be liked
  • Yes to being sweet to parents and step-parents who treat us poorly
  • Yes to abusive bosses
  • Yes to our friends partying at our house when our parents are away
  • Yes to sex that teenage partners want from us because we think we will be more popular
  • Yes to unfair salaries
  • Yes to “putting up with” and “doing more than others”
  • Yes to any request from anyone because we want to avoid conflict

Dr. Brown is a graduate of the University of Virginia, BS in Nursing, Boston University, MS in Psychiatric-Mental Health in Nursing; and International University, PhD in Addiction Studies. In her book, Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, she says, "When we meet the unhealthy, toxic people of the world, we need to say No to allowing them access to us. When people try to brainwash us with lies, we need to have the tools to say No to their brainwashing." Which is exactly what her book teaches. It offers an insight into waking up, making the decision to set an intention, and accept the challenge of learning to say NO which means YES for you. As you begin practicing your own self-care and gaining inner peace, you will come to the realization that you are the priority. Developing a backbone takes awareness, courage, and inner strength. It is a process. Dr. Brown takes you step by step through this journey.

This is an especially a good read for any of you who are new to being single again.  Without a partner you need to learn to stand up for yourself. In fact, you may need to learn how to stand up against your ex partner. Maybe, even your boss! If your boss is aware you are single, he/she may require you to put in more over-time at work, to give those who have families more time off. Yes, people are going to try and take advantage of you and you need to learn how to deal with it. You have to learn to say no, because no one else is going to say it for you.

This doesn't mean you have to argue...

In, 2000, my web development business slumped a bit. I had to take a job. My daughter was four years old and it was Christmas time. She was registered in ECS at her day-care facility and the Christmas concert  was going to be her first time on stage. So I told my supervisor that I would be leaving early on Friday afternoon so I could attend. He said, "I can't spare you. And I need you to work some overtime on Friday. Sorry, Steve"

On Friday I left at 2:30 pm, so I could go to the Christmas concert. I showed up for work my usual time on Monday. Nothing was ever said about me leaving early. I hadn't disobeyed him. I control my time and what I will do with it. When I informed him I would be leaving early on Friday, I wasn't asking for permission. There was no need to argue with him. It wasn't a lack of respect for him; I had promised my daughter I would be there.

Backbone Power The Science of Saying No is being offered free today as part of an Amazon promotion. If you get click her to download it now, you're be saving yourself $17.39. If you're flying solo these days, you need to be in control of the flight or else you're sure to wind up off-course.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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