Jealously is a human emotion that we all share to some degree. If you're over fifty and new to being single again, some of you will no doubt feel it a little stronger than those of us who have been single for a few years. Especially if your partner has replaced you or traded you in for a newer model. It's normal to feel this way, but you have to be careful that it doesn't manifest itself into more destructive emotions such as anger and grief. A combination of jealously mixed with feelings of betrayal can make you want to lash out. Revenge and hate can replace jealously altogether, and these negative thoughts can prevent you from moving on in your life.
It's even worse if you decide to act on these feelings. Innocent people can get hurt in the cross-fire. There are many news stories that attest to this. Like the military man in Moscow who thought his common-law wife was having an affair. So he threw her two eight-year-old (twin sisters) out of the window of his apartment. They lived on the eighth floor.
Joan Didion, an American writer, says "To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self."
Catherine Revell says in her book, Jealously Survival Guide:
"Did you know that some things don’t need fixing to get fixed? Just letting go can fix most things. If you quit meddling with things, they can fix themselves. It’s a principle of self-correction. Time can heal things all by itself if you’ll just get out of the way."
That's exactly how I feel about it as well. You just have to let it go. I know it sounds like it's one of those things that are easier said than done, but it is possible. By using positive affirmations you can actually encourage and train yourself to let these feelings go. At the same time, good dieting choices to help manage stress, and exercise will help the healing process along. According to Steve Tromans it is called re-conditioning your thinking. He uses a process that involves neuro-linguistics and hypnotherapy as you can see from this short clip below.
This may be a bit of an extreme method, and certainly very expensive way of getting control of your jealously. I would see a professional if it was a last resort, but Catherine Revell's book, Jealously Survival Guide, may be all you need. Here is what it can do for you:
- It will get you on the right path before you wind up in the ditch or, worse yet, in jail.
- It will help you accept yourself even when you feel jealous and stop beating yourself up.
- You’ll learn how to get what you want or need and you don’t have to change somebody else to do it.
- It’s a place to come to for attitude adjustments, comfort, understanding and hopefully, a change of perspective because miracles happen when you change your perspective.
It's important too, to have very frank conversations with yourself without lying. Sometimes jealously can be fueled by personality traits, such as the need for power and the ability to control your partner. These are issues that you may need professional help with, which goes beyond the scope of the book.
It's being offered for free today as part of an Amazon promotion. However, if you miss it today, you can pick up a copy for $5.94. Download it now, while you can. Sill, much cheaper than neuro-linguistics and hypnotherapy. Plus, you don't have someone else messing with your brain...
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