My 30 year old daughter

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Steve MacLellan 4 years, 10 months ago.

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    Susan T.

    Hi Steve,

    I have a very beautiful 30 year old daughter. She’s has a great job at a publishing company, and just recently bought her own home. But she isn’t married, isn’t living with anyone, and isn’t even seeing anyone at the moment. People always ask about her, and then this is usually followed by asking me if she’s married or has children. I’m starting to find this a bit embarrasing. When I tell them, they give me a look like they wonder what’s wrong with my daughter.

    You know, she has had a few boyfriends, but she hasn’t met a man she wanted to marry yet. Maybe she never will.

    How to you think I should respond to these personal questions about her?

    Thank you,


    Steve MacLellan

    Hi Susan,

    Bait & switch!

    People are naturally curious, but you can end the discussion short by switching the conversation to them. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, more than they want to talk about you. And, if it’s people you know, you could likely think up a few places where you could “push their buttons.”

    Please note: when I set up this advice column, I didn’t suggest you would get the best advice in the world, and some of my suggestions might work out horribly wrong for you.

    If it were someone who asked that I didn’t particularly care for, I might respond by saying, “She’s doing great! She has a wonderful career that she loves; just bought a NEW HOUSE — but what about your husband? I heard he got layed off — how are you guys going to get by?”

    Okay, well maybe that’s a little nasty — and if you’re replying to someone you like, you might not want to go there. So you might say: “She’s doing great! She has a wonderful career that she loves; just bought a new house. How’s YOUR daughter doing these days?”

    Although they are curious about YOUR life, you will find people are more interested in talking about themselves and THEIR life. So now that you have offered the preliminaries, they will be happy to change the focus to themselves.

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