Archive for: May 2013

Backbone Power The Science of Saying No

grow-one-featuredHave you ever said 'yes', when you wanted to say 'no'? You're not alone. A lot of people do this, and often the situation is different every time. For example: It's a hot afternoon and your skinny best friend implores you to go to the ice-cream bar, because she doesn't have anyone else to go with right then, and you're struggling with your weight. You try to say no, but you end up saying yes. Of course this is only one example...

Are we pre-programmed to say yes? Dr. Anne Brown believes we are. She says, that from the time we are very little:  "Initially, that world consists of our immediate family, and as children, we do our damnedest to make sense of it. We observe, listen, adapt, and then accommodate."

Of course we aren't children any longer. We have the option of saying no. We just need to "grow a backbone".

One time when I was looking for a car to buy, I was at a dealership and was convinced by two sale people to take a particular car out for a test drive. I did, and then when I returned to the lot they tried to convince me to buy it. Many of you will know just how convincing some of these guys can be, but I was double-teamed on this one. I had to be quite stern with them. I said, "I'm not interested in this car. I don't like it. I don't like the way it feels on the highway, I don't like the color, I don't like the interior, and I don't like the look of it". About this time, they realized they would not be selling me this car. But they would have sent me home with it if they could have.

Let's look at some of the common things many people say yes to, and then later regret it.

  • Yes to sex with the ex
  • Yes to paying for things we can’t afford
  • Yes to things we know feel good at the time and cost us our self-esteem later
  • Yes to numbing ourselves with food, alcohol, and drugs
  • Yes to sex to be liked
  • Yes to being sweet to parents and step-parents who treat us poorly
  • Yes to abusive bosses
  • Yes to our friends partying at our house when our parents are away
  • Yes to sex that teenage partners want from us because we think we will be more popular
  • Yes to unfair salaries
  • Yes to “putting up with” and “doing more than others”
  • Yes to any request from anyone because we want to avoid conflict

Dr. Brown is a graduate of the University of Virginia, BS in Nursing, Boston University, MS in Psychiatric-Mental Health in Nursing; and International University, PhD in Addiction Studies. In her book, Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, she says, "When we meet the unhealthy, toxic people of the world, we need to say No to allowing them access to us. When people try to brainwash us with lies, we need to have the tools to say No to their brainwashing." Which is exactly what her book teaches. It offers an insight into waking up, making the decision to set an intention, and accept the challenge of learning to say NO which means YES for you. As you begin practicing your own self-care and gaining inner peace, you will come to the realization that you are the priority. Developing a backbone takes awareness, courage, and inner strength. It is a process. Dr. Brown takes you step by step through this journey.

This is an especially a good read for any of you who are new to being single again.  Without a partner you need to learn to stand up for yourself. In fact, you may need to learn how to stand up against your ex partner. Maybe, even your boss! If your boss is aware you are single, he/she may require you to put in more over-time at work, to give those who have families more time off. Yes, people are going to try and take advantage of you and you need to learn how to deal with it. You have to learn to say no, because no one else is going to say it for you.

This doesn't mean you have to argue...

In, 2000, my web development business slumped a bit. I had to take a job. My daughter was four years old and it was Christmas time. She was registered in ECS at her day-care facility and the Christmas concert  was going to be her first time on stage. So I told my supervisor that I would be leaving early on Friday afternoon so I could attend. He said, "I can't spare you. And I need you to work some overtime on Friday. Sorry, Steve"

On Friday I left at 2:30 pm, so I could go to the Christmas concert. I showed up for work my usual time on Monday. Nothing was ever said about me leaving early. I hadn't disobeyed him. I control my time and what I will do with it. When I informed him I would be leaving early on Friday, I wasn't asking for permission. There was no need to argue with him. It wasn't a lack of respect for him; I had promised my daughter I would be there.

Backbone Power The Science of Saying No is being offered free today as part of an Amazon promotion. If you get click her to download it now, you're be saving yourself $17.39. If you're flying solo these days, you need to be in control of the flight or else you're sure to wind up off-course.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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Over forty reasons not to get married

40-reasons-featuredI'm sure if you're over fifty and alone again, you could quite possibly  think of lots of reasons to never get married again.  Did you ever consider writing down all of the reasons? Kate Papas did. In fact, she published a book titled Married or... merry: The International Greek Book of Marriage, or 40+1 Reasons Not to Get Married. It's a hilarious look at all of the reasons she can think of, why you should never marry. I realize, this comes a little too late for most of us, but you don't have to make the same mistake twice, like I did. I'm afraid I'm a slow learner. Although I do learn by mistakes... after I've made the same one a few times....

Kate asks, "What are the ingredients of a marriage? Pure love? Free sex? Nice home cooked food? Children playing around? Then, what about mother- in- laws, divorce, hatred and alimony? In my opinion, in Greece and all over the world, marriage is a mystery and -even worse -- 'the secret to a happy marriage remains a secret…'"

It isn't a fair world. If you ask some couples, who appear happily married, what their secret is, most times they can't tell you. Or if they know you and your situation, they like to go off on some philosophical rant that ends with you feeling like a fool. Maybe sometimes, it's better not to ask. But, if there was one consistent truth behind the whole ordeal, you would likely have to pay a high price for it. And of course, you pay to get married too.

One of the reasons she speaks can be likened to Siamese twins. Often one partner of the marriage will feel suffocated, and complain their partner is too clingy. Although funny to think of, it makes it hard for some couples to have outside interests; the clingy partner demands the presence of the other, at all times. Granted, some couples can learn to be happy this way, but other times it can lead to resentment. It's like eating chocolate. It's all sweet and good at first, but a steady diet of it will make you sick.

The Kindle version of the  book is being offered for free today as part of an Amazon promotion. Click here to download it now and save yourself $7.99. I'm sure you will agree that once you have read through it, you will be appreciating your independence, even if newly found. And, if you have some additional great reasons for getting married, you're welcome to add them in the comments section below.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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Jay Leno: Gas pump prank

praqnk-featuredRan across this video that my friend Stephen Martin shared. We don't have advertising video screens above any of the gas pumping stations I've ever been to in Canada, but apparently they are fairly common in the U.S. The video below is reported to be a Jay Leno "Tonight Show" prank. Since this was posted online, it's become a viral hit. Watch the video below:

The couple is Will and Monifa Sims. They have become an Internet sensation since this video was published. MSN reports, 'the couple dipped into some impromptu karaoke with more charisma and musical talent than an episode of "American Idol.'"

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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Help for the guitar playing forum

be-guitar-featuredIn case you missed it, my hobby is playing the guitar. And a lot of us, who are over fifty, take up new hobbies. Especially if we are newly single again and have extra time on their hands. I met a gentleman who didn't take up the guitar until he was over seventy, and by the end of the first year, to hear him play you would have thought he had been playing for years.

You also may have seen, the forum I have setup on this site for guitar players. There is, at the time of writing this article, 70 posts in the forum, and most of them are video tutorials. I think this makes it a pretty easy way to learn some new techniques and theory, but if you find you're struggling with some of this stuff, since most of it is for intermediate or advanced level guitar players, there is a Kindle book that is free today to help bring you up to speed, so you can get more out of the video tutorials in the forum.

The book is Guitar Scales Handbook: A Step-By-Step, 100-Lesson Guide to Scales, Music Theory, and Fretboard Theory (Book & Videos). The book is written by Damon Ferrante. He is a composer, guitarist, and music writer with 30 music books and scores in print. He has had performances at Carnegie Hall, Symphony Space, and throughout the US and Europe. The book is being offered for free today as part of an Amazon promotion.

The book is organized in a 100-lesson format that takes you step by step through scales, the notes on the guitar neck, intervals, and music theory. Each lesson builds on the next and the book is designed for beginners through advanced / virtuoso guitarists.

This New Edition includes 1 1/2 Hours of Free Streaming Videos! The video lessons cover  guitar technique, music theory, guitar licks and solos, how to play scales, Jam Tracks, and developing good practice goals.

Before you get too carried away with the modes, you should see post-1870. I think Steve Krenz gives a better explanation of modes, the best ones to use, and where to use them. But download the book now while it's free. Within the next day or so the price will be back up to $13.95. Mind you, if you have to pay for it later, the cost of the book is less than one guitar lesson you would pay for, if you had an instructor off-line.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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Marketing Your Local Business Online

om-featuredA lot of people over fifty who are recently divorced, separated, widowed... feel they need something to take up some extra time. They often decide to start a hobby that becomes a small business. It gives them something to do, and they can make some extra cash on the side. After a while, and they've made a few dollars, they start to think about how great it would be to start making even more money with it.

Typically, since it's a local business, they don't bother with online marketing. This is a mistake. If people want to find a business or service, they will look on the Internet much faster than they will pick up the phone book or yellow pages directory. If your business isn't  advertised online, you're committing your business to a slow death, unless you already have all the customers you will ever need... Very few of us have that...

It just isn't enough you stick up a webpage advert without promoting it. If you don't promote it, no one will see it. You need the search engines to pick up on it. I've found an Amazon Kindle eBook called Marketing Your Local Business Online: Key Strategies to Increasing Sales and Profit Using the Internet that walks you through all of the steps you will need to do, to make sure you can be found online. Once you implement these strategies, it will enable you to generate more leads, sales, and ultimately profit. If your goal is to make more money from your local business, then this book is a must-read.

Some of the things covered in this 130 page book include:

  • Building an effective website
  • Search engine marketing
  • Mobile marketing
  • Social media marketing
  • Video marketing
  • Reputation management
  • and more!

Gone are the days of relying on print advertising as your only source of new customers. The Internet is now the #1 tool for consumers to find local businesses. Without a strong web presence, you are guaranteed to be losing business to your competitors. In this book, you will learn vital strategies to get your local business found online.

I was very impressed with this book. I was expecting a re-hash of the same old concepts and ideas that some of the online marketing gurus have been spouting for the last quarter-century. But that isn't the case. This book is jammed packed full with valuable information, and delivered without any filler or fluff. The book is being offered for free today as part of an Amazon promotion. If you miss this free offer, you can still pick up a copy for only $12.99 -- and it's worth every penny. Click here to download it now.

If you need some website help, there is a forum setup on this website where you can ask questions.

If you don’t want to miss any of these posts: on the right-hand side of the blog is a place where you can enter your email address, and I’ll send you any new posts by email. You’re not going to get spammed — I respect your privacy. All you will get is the new posts only. Note: any posts that contain video or other website technologies won’t be available in the email version of the posts.

You’re welcome to comment below.

While you’re here, don’t forget to check out our rebel mouse page, to see what else you might be missing.


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